What Hurts The Most
by brandypandyxxx
Summary: What hurts the most is never knowning what could have been. Kagome was throw into the past after 5 year being gone, but a lot of time has come and gone in the past and she find his tomb, can she awaken him? Has he change? She has, she has grown.
1. Across Times

What hurts the most is never knowing what could have been........

His tomb, she could not believe she was looking at his tomb. What had happened? She didn't have to guess who the two smaller tombs were for. Her hand ran down the tomb, her eyes wide open with no blinking. It was dusty, and uncared for. What had happened?

What had happened since the last time she left? Yes she had left yes ago, but this time, it seemed much later. What happened? What was happening? Where was everyone? her friends? Why had Inuyasha not come to her?

Why was he dead? Him of all people. The fact that he was dead scared her, he was not supposed to be dead. Yes he was, there was no demons in her time, but still it was a shock. She let her powers flow over his tomb, hoping to feel something. Her power sang a soft tune over him, and she felt a jolt a aura, his aura

"Sesshomaru?" She whisperedsweet.

------

Narakua had been defeated, she had to go back, they all knew it was coming. The well's power shined out demanding her to return. She hugged them all, even the great Lord was there to see her off, well not really to see her off, but he was there in the trees. Inuyasha held his tongue, he hugged her with a deep blush. He told her he would find her, but for some reason she had no hope for it. She even said by to Sesshomaru even tho he did not make him self known, but they all knew he was there. She didn't want to leave them, had she had a choice she would have chosen to stay there, in their time, in this world. She had long ago decided that she was not long for her time.

But the well demanded of her, and with a flash of power, she, the miko, the miko known as Kagome, was gone.

Inuyasha stayed staring at the well for 3 days, before his brother came to him, called in foolish, told him that the girl was gone that he need not waste his pathetic time with the human feeling of hope. Inuyasha and just looked at him, sneered and walked away.

----

Kagome sat in the well house the day she returned, it was raining and drops were falling on her from the leaky roof. She cried, she cried for all of them. The next morning her mother and grandfather pulled her from the well house. After a few months her grandfather told her, her time was over, that she did what the Kami's wanted of her and that she now had a life to live. Tho Kagome didn't want to live it, but who was she to tell that to the Kami's. Yes, she would wish them to throw her back into a era were family was yet born, were they had no tv, no fast food, no lights, basic things she had grown up with, yes at night she would beg for it.

But Kagome slowly grew out of it, got a job, finished school, moved out even tho she had no husband. Kagome left the past at the age of 18, she now is 23. She kept herself in the past by taking all history classes. Now as a young adult she went to sites, studied, breathed , live and loved the past. If someone found something from the past, it being a object or whole city, Kagome was called on to study it. After all, even tho they didn't know it the Past was part of Kagome.

---

She had been at her mom's one night for dinner. She had just finished her pot roast, eating the last of her green beans. Kagome sighed and look out to the well house. Her mom was doing dishes and her brother had gone off to a movie. Outside her grandfather was sweeping.

Kagome opened the back door and went outside to him. "Hey grand-paw"

Her voice had change a bit as did her, herself. "Come to help a old man hmmm?"

Kagome laughed a bit and took the broom from him, then the old man was off, leaving her alone. Funny, she had come out to talk and all that happened was she got stuck doing the sweeping. She started, but as she neared the well house she stop. Her hand rested on the door and she could feel the old power that used to come from the well. Kagome sighed and could not walk away.

---

She walked down the steps slow. Once she reached the well she placed her hands on the lip and looked down. "You wont take me home, will you" She said with a small smile. Kagome wondered if she could still swing her leg over and jump down it like she used to, it had been 5 years since she had done it. She bit her lip and with a swing of legs jumped. She laughed on her way down.

But her eye snapped open she didn't feel bottom. All around her the blue light shined and she knew, she was going back......

What she didn't known was it would not be her normal 500 years back.

--

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok. But that's not what gets me.


	2. A Past Unknown

But I know if I could do it over, I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart...

That I left unspoken.

-----

When Kagome climbed out of the well, the first thing she noticed was a few tree's missing. Something seemed a bit off. She dusted her jeans off and pulled the strap of her brown tank top back onto her shoulder. If she had known this was gunna happen she would have wore sneakers, no she had to be wearing flip flops, great. Kagome waited, she just knew Inuyasha would come running to her any moment now, or Shippo. The sun had gone down and it was getting dark. Kagome began to walk.

When she came to the old village, it was gone. He heart screamed 'no' but as she looked around she noticed that it had not been destroyed, it just looked like everyone had left. Some of the hut's were falling apart. 'Inuyasha' Her mind called 'Where are you?'

Kagome kept walking and kept her mind and heart open. She sent out her powers, searching for some kind of aura. She had practiced and kept up with her training even tho she never knew if she would use them again. As she walked further something cold and hard hit her, pulled on her. She followed it, being the miko she was.

Miko, something she had not been called in a long time. Kagome smiled, she was not just a girl, no woman, she was a miko.

Kagome stopped when she came to a cave, there was a water in front of it, dark and she knew it was cold. Kagome stepped on a rocked and then stopped, she could not tell if what she was feeling was a good aura and a bad one, or a aura at all. Kagome blew the hair from in front of her face and placed a hand on the cave wall.

"Here goes nothing" With the help of the wall, she hopped from one rock to another in till was in the cave. It was a dark, but there was light coming from deep inside. She walked slow, tho she could not tip toe 'stupid flip flops'

She got closer and noticed blue flames coming from 2 bowls, it was fire magic. Kagome walked even closer she was not watching were she was going, she was looking ahead of her. She hit her toe 'ow' she mind yelled. When Kagome looked down she saw a tiny tomb, very small and low to the grown. She knelt down and placed her hand on it, nothing. She stood back up and looked to the other side of the room, there was another tomb bigger but still small. She walked over to it and placed her hand on it, nothing.

She thought this tomb was that of a human and the smaller one must have been a animal. Kagome stared at it before looked forward again, That's when she saw it, a large tomb, a large dog on a cloud was on it, carved and stone was this tomb. She walked to it, it was dusty and uncared for. She placed her hand it and rubbed it, she let her powers flow, she closed her eyes. A jolt, she felt a jolt, her eyes opened.

"Sesshomaru?" She whispered soft, in that moment she didn't have to guess who the other tombs were. 'What, what happened' Kagome began to get scared. Her hand was still on the tomb, and as soon as her fear hit it sent her a jolt, as if to tell her to knock it off. Kagome looked down at the tomb, was he alive? dead? sleeping?

"Kagome?"

Kagome turned quick here eyes landed on Kouga."Kouga!" She called out "Kagome!" He called to her. They ran to each other and embraced.

"Kagome, your all grown up"

Kagome looked up to kouga "Yeah" She blushed "Kouga, what, what happened?"

Kouga looked past Kagome, his face set hard. "I don't know what happen to mutt face, but that demon-

"Sesshomaru"

Kouga looked down at her "Yeah, he was put to rest, I don't know by who tho"

Kagome broke from him "What do you mean, put to rest....is he dead?"

"I duno, I don't get close enough to tell"

Kagome looked back at the tomb. "What are you doing here Kagome?"

Kagome looked back at him "I don't know"

"Kouga!" They both turned to the front of the cave, the voice that called him was sweet "Kouga, where are you"

Kouga looked back to Kagome "Ayame" Was all he said. Kagome smiled, she knew right then that he had mated her "Come on Kagome"

"I will catch up with you in a bit"

"What..you just go here, I wanna talk to you"

"Kouga!"

"Go, your mate calls"

"I think that half breed made you stubborn"

Kagome smiled "Go away Kouga" She said joking "Ok,. but you better not leave with out coming to see me first"

"Would not dream of it"

Kouga left and Kagome watched him go, she smiled, yes she had even missed him, that crazy wolf prince.

Kagome walked back up to the tomb and placed her hand back on it "What happened?"

The only thing Kagome new was Kouga was alive and mated to Ayame and Sesshomaru was either dead or a sleep. Kagome had not even thought that she could be in a different time, that she was not 500 years back in the past, that a lot of time had past, in the past. She didn't know where Inuyasha was, or Miroku or Sango or Shippo...anyone. "Where is everyone" Kagome whispered "Whats going on" Her teeth hard together...the more she thought about her friends

the more she wanted to.....

cry.

---

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone


	3. Why Waste Your Tears

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house. That don't bother me..

----

Her bangs covered her eyes, hiding the tears that threatened to fall. So many things going on in her head, so many questions. Why had she come back? Why now? Kagome's fist got tight, pain. Outside the rain started to fall and in side Kagome could not hold on any longer, her tears fell.

They fell out of her eyes, down her cheek, on to her hand. Onto her hand that was touching his tomb. Her tears slowly dripped on by one onto his tomb. She just wanted to know why.

"Why!" She screamed as her fist hit them tomb. She often asked why, but she never got a answer. Kagome calmed, but her tears still fell, slowly.

Kagome gasp and her tears came to a sudden stop as she felt a pules from the tomb. This time it was strong and like a heart beat. Soon the tomb started glowing and Kagome backed up. Her hands went together and close to her heart. Kagome backed up till her back met the hard wall of the cave. The tomb door opened, it was dark, but soon the darkness gave way to a figure, clad in white.

"Sesshomaru" Kagome whispered, and as she said his name, he came into full view. He stopped and looked down at his arms. Yes he had both arms, then he looked to her. Kagome didn't dare move as he looked at her. She had not noticed, but she had stopped breathing, she was holding her breath. Sesshomaru looked away from her "You fear me now miko?"

Kagome let out her breath "No" she whispered. Sesshomaru looked back at her, their eyes locking. Kagome didn't know what to say or if now was a good time to ask questions. His eyes broke from hers and he walked over the the larger of the two small tombs. He looked down at it. Kagome came close to him "Is that-

"Rin" was all he said as he began to walk away, to the front of the cave. He looked out to the falling rain "The wolf was here" He stated, telling her. She answered yes even tho he had not asked her. Kagome stayed but Rin's tomb. She placed her hand on the tomb "You powers will not work on her miko, the girl is dead"

Kagome felt sick, even tho she knew he cared about Rin, he had said that as if he never cared about her. "And Jaken?" She asked, but he said nothing. Kagome then walked up next to him. "Sesshomaru, what happened"

She could have sworn she heard him sigh "Death miko, death and time"

Death and time? What was that supposed to mean "Tell me miko. how is it you woke this Sesshomaru?"

Kagome blinked "I, I don't know"

She became quite again and watched the rain fall in front of them. Kagome wanted to ask about Inuyasha, but she knew how Sesshomaru felt about his half brother. He must have been reading her thoughts

"Your half breed went with the miko they call Kikyo"

Kagome snapped her eye up at him "To, to hell?"

"No"

"What do you mean-

"The dead miko, reclaimed her life"

Kagome's eyes got wide, how on earth did that happen? "How?" She whispered. She was more asking herself then she was asking him. Kagome felt tears come again, her eyes were getting warm, she knew what he meant by 'he want with her'

Sesshomaru looked at Kagome "Why waste your tears miko" Was all he said as he walked away from the front of the cave. He would not be leaving the cave in till the rain stopped. Kagome watched him walk away, and tried her hardest not to cry, but one tear got away and ran down her cheek.

-----

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out....

----

ok slow chap I know, im not felling very well at the moment. im 7 weeks preg with my 3rd baby!


	4. Reasons Unknown

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while....

Kagome sat with her knees to he chest and her head on her arms. It had rained all night, and they had sat in silence. It was now morning and Kagome faded in and out of sleep.

Kagome lifted her head when she opened her eye's and saw Sesshomaru's boot in front of her. He didn't look at her,

"You need miko's clothing" He stated looking out past the cave entrance. Kagome was confused, why did he say that? Why did she need to change her clothes. She had worn her school uniform the whole time she was here last time. He must have been reading her mind "Be not a fool miko, times are not as they were, and your half breed is not here to protect you" And then he began to walk off. Kagome got up and ran after him, she was about to yell wait, but didn't have to.

"We shall pass a village, you may acquire about clothes there"

Kagome sighed and figure it best not to fight him, so she followed.

----

They came upon the village and everyone silently hid. They didn't scream and run, they walked into there houses and shut the doors. Kagome blinked, something seemed off. Kagome looked around and then spotted what seemed to be the village miko.

"There is no need for fighting here" The old woman spoke. Kagome stepped from behind Sesshomaru and then gasp. "Kaede" She whispered, "Why would she think you are here to fight" She asked Sesshomaru.

"She is blind" Sesshomaru stated, he never took his eyes off the old woman, who was till walking to them. Once she came to stop Kagome walked in front of Sesshomaru "I sense a miko in your presents" Kaede said, still not knowing who she was speaking to.

"Kaede?"

The old woman froze, she knew that voice. "Is it really ye child?"

"Yes, It's me" Kagome said as she jumped into the old woman's arms. The moment was short lived "She is in need of clothes" Sesshomaru stated. Kaede pushed Kagome back lightly "Is that ye Lord Sesshomaru"

"It is I"

"How did ya come to be as you are?"

"I think I unsealed him" Kagome spoke up "I see" Kaede responded "Child, are ye still wearing such a short skirt"

Kagome blush, but did not have time to respond "Come child, times have changed, you can not walk around in the things you once wore, I shall give a set of clothing"

Kagome smiled and took Kaede's hand "Follow if you must" Kaede spoke as her and Kagome walked away. Sesshomaru didn't move at first, but then he did follow.

---

While Kagome changed Kaede made tea for two, she knew the demon Lord wold not drink. "Tell me, have ye seen thy younger brother"

"No" He spoke "I see" She poured the tea into cups "And what are ya going to do with young Kagome?"

Sesshomaru cut his eyes and the old woman "Do not look at me like that" Kaede said, not looking at him. Even tho she was blind, it was as if she could see. Sesshomaru then cut his eyes to the curtain, Kagome was dress and now standing there. Her hair was still untied, but he had to admit, she looked much better in those clothes.

"Come child, have tea"

Kagome smiled and sat next to Sesshomaru. She took her tea and sipped it. Kagome was hungry but anything in her tummy was good right now. Sesshomaru did not answer Kaede's question so Kaede thought to ask Kagome what her plans were "Will ye follow him?"

Kagome sat her tea down and looked at Sesshomaru, she didn't know what she was going to do "I don't know, I don't even really know why I'm here" She then looked at Kaede,

"You are here for a reason child" Kaede spoke, setting her tea down "Ye came upon him, and unsealed him"

Kagome then looked at Sesshomaru "She will follow me" He spoke looking back at her.

"Will ya seek out Inuyasha?" Kaede asked, Sesshoamru picked up worry in her tone. "I, I don't know" Kagome spoke looking down at her tea. She wanted to see him, but then again a part of her asked why, he had his own life, she figured if she showed up she would just mess things up.

"The half breed will show" Sesshomaru said placing his hands in his sleeves. He could read her feelings, he thought it odd after all this time that she still hung onto his half brother. Sesshomaru remembered once telling his brother to be thankful to the girl.

Sesshomaru was now questioning Kagome's devotion as he watched her stair into her tea.

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me....


	5. The Lie Of Her Smile

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok....

Kaede saw them off waving as the demon Lord and the miko left. She wondered how Kagome would take seeing Inuyasha and how Inuyasha would take seeing Kagome and how the demon Lord would take all of this, he was know for caring about other people's lives.

Kagome grew hungry and he knew it. "You need food" Again with the telling her and not asking. Kagome placed a hand on her tummy, he was right "Yeah, I guess so"

Basic needs of a human. Once again they came into a village, it was foggy and the sun was hidden by gray clouds. Once again Kagome watched as people ran into their houses and shut their door. Kagome was a bit confused. Last time she were here, anytime her and Inuyasha would go into a village people would freak out.

"The human have become to use to us"

Sesshomaru didn't know if that was a good thing for the humans or a bad thing. At least they were not running around like idiots. "Come miko" Sesshomaru began walking into the village with her behind him. Kagome looked from side to side at the houses, she would see a kid every once in a while peek, she would wiggle her fingers at them. Sesshomaru watched her with his eyes, even tho his head was strait forward. Sesshomaru stopped , to his right was a gray house and Kagome could smell the food, stew. Kagome stopped behind him.

A old man slowly opened the door, behind him a fat old woman stood with a wooden spoon in her hand. "We don't have demon food here" Came the raspy voice of the old man. "Don't anger him" Kagome heard the old woman tell the man.

"It is the miko who requires food" Sesshomaru spoke up now looking at them. Both the old man and woman looked at the girl behind him, it was as if they had just noticed her. Then all the sudden a boy came running out and up to Kagome. The fat woman had reach out to try and stop the boy, but it was of no use. The boy grabbed Kagome's sleeve "I'm Hakia"

"Hello, I'm Kagome"

The boy smiled and Kagome smiled back "The food will cost you as it does everyone else" The old man spoke again. The old woman the spoke again to him "Don't anger him!"

She was afraid her old husband would anger Sesshomaru. "I have pay" Sesshoamru then pulled out a pouch. Kagome and the boy both looked at him. Kagome was surprised he was going to pay for her food. The boy left Kagome and went up to Sesshomaru "Your tall"

Kagome could not help but smirk. Sesshomaru's eye's cut to her then back to the boy,

"Your miko is pretty"

Kagome's smile dropped, tho she thought it sweet that the boy thought she was pretty, she could not believe he had said that to Sesshomaru, and called her his!

"Hakia!" The old woman called. The boy looked back to the woman and then back to Sesshomaru "If you want I'll take the money"

Sesshoamru dropped it into the boy's hand and watched as the young lad took Kagome by the hand and dragged her inside. The old man and woman moved to the side and let her in. They then turned back to see Sesshomaru standing to close for their comfort. Once again, before the old man could say anything the old woman spoke "Don't, anger, him"

Sesshomaru walked past them and into the house.

----

Sesshomaru sat on the opposite side of the room. His head was leaned back and his eyes were closed. The old woman poured Kagome some stew and tea. "Wow, this looks great"

She was so hungry. "I help cut the vegetables!" The boy said. Kagome smiled "Hush boy and let the girl eat" The old woman cut in. The woman was wrinkled and brown headed, and the man was even more wrinkled and gray headed. The boy caught Kagome tho, he was black headed and had blue eyes. Kagome ate her stew and even got seconds, Sesshomaru had paid well enough.

"I hope my husband did not anger your demon" The old woman whispered to Kagome. Kagome looked at Sesshomaru to see him open his eyes. Her demon?

"Uh" Kagome didn't know what to say.

"Is he your boyfriend?"

Kagome wanted to spit out her tea. She blushed bright pink, and again the woman cut in "Mind you manners boy, you will anger him"

What was with this woman? "It is not he who will anger me" Came the cool words of the Demon Lord. The old woman froze. Sesshomaru stood up "If you are finished miko"

Kagome sat the empty bowl down and bowed her head in thanks "Yes, Im done"

She looked at the boy and woman "We better get going" She said with a half smile "Well here, take this" The old woman held out a sack, it was full or rice balls. "Thank you" Kagome took them from her and rose to her feet.

As they left Kagome waved back at the the couple and the boy, a half smile on her face. Even tho she had a smiled and blushed most of the night, Sesshoamru could feel her sadness and confusion. Once she was done waving she turned and kept following Sesshomaru, her smile gone.

Sesshomaru kept his pace, little did Kagome know they were walking right to Inuyasha, and Sesshomaru could smell him, which meant that the half breed could smell her. Half a hour of walking and he knew,

"Brace yourself miko"

Kagome looked up "Hu?"

"Kagome!"

Kagome's heart felt like ice as she heard him call her name, he had come to her. But then hurt, he was coming to her alright, with Kikyo on his back.

But that's not what gets me....


	6. Unspoken Reasons

What hurts the most....

Kagome stood, it was as if time stopped. Everything around her was frozen but the red that was Inuyasha coming at her. Inuyasha and Kikyo.

Sesshomaru's eyes had glanced back at Kagome, he could feel the shock and hurt rolling off her. To himher emotions were wasted, all human's really but her's more than others. Inuyasha had stopped in front of her and he let Kikyo down. "Kagome, is that really you?"

"Hi" Is all Kagome could say, it had been so long since she had seen him, he looked the same. In a flash she felt her body being pulled, and before she knew it she was in his arms and he was holding her tight. "Kagome" He whispered.

Sesshomaru's eyes then went to Kikyo, she stood stone cold and her face was uncaring, much like himself. Sesshomaru could feel that Kikyo felt Kagome as no threat. Inuyasha let Kagome go and looked at her "Kagome, what are you doing here? How did you get back?"

"I, I um don't know" She was still in shock. "The miko arrived but a few days ago" Came Sesshomaru's voice, it would seem the half breed had not even seen him. When Inuyasha looked over, the brothers eyes set on each other hard. "Sesshomaru"

"Little brother"

Inuyasha looked back at Kagome "What are you doing with him?" He asked crossing his arms, he even seemed a little concerned. "I um, I don't know, I don't even know why I'm here"

"Have you tried going back?" Going back? Did he want her to leave so soon? "Is everything alright Inuyasha?"

"Yeah why?" He answered a bit confused as to way she asked that. "No reason" Kagome looked to the ground, she wanted to tell him how much she missed him, cared for him, she wanted to hug him again. She was not the crazy young teen anymore tho, she was a adult. "Inuyasha-

Sesshomaru knew she was about to make a fool of herself, he didn't blame her for not knowing tho "Inuyasha, your pup requires food"

Both Inuyasha and Kagome looked to Kikyo. That's when Kagome saw it, Kikyo's belly, round with child. She would have cried had she not been so shocked. Kagome walked past Inuyasha and his brother up to Kikyo "Your, your alive"

"It would seem the jewel owned me my life" He tone never changing, she sound as she aways did. Kagome looked at her belly, as if she could not comprehend it "I am with child" She was not showing much. "Wow" was all Kagome could say. Could she really blame Inuyahsa? She had been sent back to her time, no on knew if she would ever return, so no she could not blame him. It was then that Kagome realized Sesshomaru has spoken up, saving her from saying something stupid. "Kagome I-

Kagome turned and smiled at him "You gunna be a daddy"

Both Inuyasha and his brother knew her smile and happy words were fake, fake as could be. Inuyasha put his hand behind his head and scratched "Yeah, guess so"

Kagome left Kikyo and went to stand next to Sesshomaru, their was silence, awkward silence.

"Have you seen Miroku and Sango yet?" Inuyasha asked trying to perk up to odd mood. Kagome brighten a bit "No, I have not"

"Great I'll take you to them"

"I shall take the miko" Inuyasha looked from Kagome to his brother "What"

"I shall take the miko to the slayer village, it would be wise for you to tend to you mate"

"Look- Inuyasha was about to tell his brother off but Kagome spoke, stopping that "No, its ok Inuyasha I'll be find with Sesshomaru"

"But Kagome-

"Come miko, it is late" It was getting late, soon it would be dark. Kagome didn't feel right leaving, she had not seen Inuyasha in so many years and now just to say a few words and walk away? Guess she had to, its not like she could 'hang out' like they used to, he was a mated man now, or in her terms married. Kagome bit her lip and turned to follow Sesshomaru, she didn't want to say goodbye to Inuyasha. Inuyasha, he was frozen and didn't know what to do or say, It's not like he could do much, say much, he was mated, his feeling for Kagome had to be silenced, he had to let her walk away. It was odd tho seeing her leave with his older brother. "Come Inuyasha" Came the voice of his mate and he turned to follow her back home, but not before stopping at looking back at the fading miko....

That had been his down fall all those year, he didn't say what he should of to of? Was he supposed to say something to her? those unspoken words? Only the kami's new. But even back in the say when he had cared for her, before he was mated to Kikyo, he was unsure, he had fallen in love with Kikyo long before Kagome had come around. Even now as they walked away from each other, he felt bad, but no so that he would stop her from going, he guessed after she had vanished and Kikyo claimed her life that it was supposed to be as it was, Kagome in her time and him with Kikyo. But he could not tell that to her, could he

Was being so close, and having so much to say, and watching you walk away...


	7. Never Knowing

_And never knowing _  
_What could have been _

As soon as they were far enough away Kagome fell to her knee's, she didn't care if Sesshomaru was there or not, she did not care what he thought either. Tears fell from her eyes, but she didn't cry out, she held her hands as fist, her teeth clenched together.

Sesshomaru stopped and looked at the girl, his first though was 'pathetic'

But then he felt her, more angry than anything, her aura flared,

"If you allow your power to show, he will feel you"

Kagome sucked in and calmed, Sesshomaru was right about that, she didn't want Inuyasha to know how she felt now. Kagome still sat there, her mind racing, she wondered, if she had stayed, would it still be like this? If she stayed and it did end up this way, what kind of person would she had been, did they well save her from more hurt?

"I don't know what's worst, knowing, or, not knowing" She looked at Sesshomaru, and for once he didn't have anything wise to say, "They say, what you don't know can't hurt you, but that, that's a lie!"

She stood and wiped her face, she wondered how many people when insane thinking like this. She knew one thing, from now on, if she had something to say to anyone, she would say it, if she wanted something, she would go for it, if she loved someone, she would tell them, even it that person rejected her, at least that way, she would know and not spend her time wondering.

"Let's go" She spoke soft, she was ready to see Sango and Miroku, and she hoped they would be happy to see her.

Happy was a understatement and Kagome found herself crying for the second time that day,

"Kagome, Kagome!" Sango had yelled out running to her friend and hugging her, never mind the demon Lord behind them.

"Lord Sesshomaru, nice to see you are well" Miroky stated, both girls turn to look at Sesshomaru,

"Sesshomaru, how did you get here?" Sango asked, confused,

"It would seem I set him free, though he still has not told me how he ended up the way he was" She said with a flat look, aimed at him of course.

"Really" Miroku asked looking at Sesshomaru, Sesshomaru glared at him,

"You know don't you!" Kagome demanded of Miroku,

"Kagome why don't you let Sesshomaru tell you, I'm sure he will when he is ready, after all you did set him...free"

Kagome looked at Sango, things didn't click yet for her, but then again, when did anything in this time click. Kagome sighed,

"You will be staying with us, at least tonight right"

Kagome looked up and her eyes lit up "Of course you are welcome to Lord Sesshomaru" Miroku added.

Sesshomaru stayed silent but looked at Kagome "Yes, I want to stay! I missed you guy so much!" Kagome hugged Sango tight again "Whoa Kagome careful" Sango said,

Kagome backed up "Something wrong?"

Sango smiled and rubbed her belly, and Kagome, again lit up "OH MY GOD YOUR PREGNANT!"

Sango smiled "Yes, I am"

Kagome was so happy for Sango, they walked off, leaving the men.

"So, will you tell her" Miroku asked the Lord,

"She will figure it out if she wishes to know"

"Him, well, it would seem Kagome is staying, will you be joining us?"

Sesshomaru didn't say anything, but he didn't leave either.


	8. Tonight

_And not seein' that lovin' you_  
_Is what I was tryin' to do_

Kagome and Sango stayed up late talking, they had missed each other.

"I saw Inuyasha"

Sango was silent "I was so happy to see him"

Still Sango was quite, letting Kagome get it all out.

"I didn't even notice Kikyo, or that, that she, she was pregnant, it took Sesshomaru saying something for me to even notice"

Sango felt, bad for Kagome, not because Inuyasha didn't end up with her, but because Kagome was sad, and alone right now. Kagome sighed and looked at Sango, one thing about Kagome, when she was sad, she never let it show to long, she didn't want everyone feeling sorry.

"Well I guess Ill go to bed now" Kagome stood, Miroku and Sango had many small huts for different things, they had one for her, with pillow and blanket ready. Kagome walked out of Sango's hut and smiled "Goodnight Miroku,

Miroku smiled "Goodnight" He got up, bowed to Sesshomaru and went inside with Sango.

"Are you staying to Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked, looking at him,

"It would seem" He stated,

"Will you be staying, out here?" She knew he didn't really sleep to much. Kagome had not been here in a long time, and to tell the truth, being alone in a hut was a little scary even with everyone feet from her.

"If it is what you wish"

Kagome looked at him confused "What I wish?" Since when did he do things to what people wished,

"It is simple miko, if you wish for me to be here, then I am here" He looked at the hut "If you wish for me to be there, then I will be there"

Kagome looked at him a moment, trying to figure it out, then it just came to her, he, in his own way, was being nice, it was not about doing as she wished, he must have know how she felt. Kagome smiled slight,

"It has been along time since I been here" She looked up at the stars,

Sesshomaru stood "Come miko" He walked to the hut, she looked down and followed.

Sesshomaru slid down the wall and sat flat, while Kagome laid down on the mat on her back, sigh sighed, she missed her bed.

"What bothers you now miko"

"I miss my bed" She looked at him, "Its soft"

Kagome found she was not ready to sleep,

"Will you return miko?"

Kagome looked at him "I don't know why I am here, I asked the well to let me back, and it did, but, why, if not for Inuyasha, I don't know"

He looked at her,

"Why stay?"

"It is a waste of you devotion, to be devoted to him"

"So I should return?"

He looked away "It is not up for me to decide that miko"

Kagome sighed, of course he would not help,

"I don't have a reason to stay" She said it in a sad manner as she looked away from him,

"Do you not?"

She looked at him again "No?"

He stayed silent, leave it to him to make it harder on her,

"I guess, Ill stay a few days to visit, I did miss everyone" He did take in her saying everyone, but he wondered if she meant him to, not that he really cared if she did or not,

"Even this one miko?" He didn't look at her, but she looked at him "Yeah, sure, you were a big part of my life" She said it with a smile "I mean, you did try to kill me, but you also saved me to, and you were there for a lot of the fights, I got used to seeing you around"

He stayed silent,

"Do as you wish miko, you awoke me from my sleep, so I shall stay with you until you decide"

Kagome closed her eyes, she felt safe.

* * *

Iv been doing a lot of editing so I hope my program is catching everything bc I am a rush writer.


	9. Cry

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

She waited till she though he was really asleep, then she let her tears fall, they were silent, not a sniffle came from her, just tears.

She was letting go, hurting like hell, but letting go, she had to, what else could she do? At this moment one would say "You cant go to the past and change it"

But they kinda did not work with her, but even so, even though she was in the past, there was one thing she could not change, it was meant to be, Kikyo was alive and so was Inuyasha, they were meant to be together, Kagome, Kagome was just a piece of the puzzle. How foolish was it of her to think that the reason she was sent to the past was to fall in love? She was there because the jewel had been in her body, not because her soul mate was there.

I mean, soul mates aren't born in different eras, where they?

Kagome closed her eyes tight, it hurt, it burned, she want to cry out but she had to keep quite. Kagome rolled away from Sesshomru and curled up on the mate she on.

He knew, he knew she was crying, he could not sleep, he never went into the deep sleep. He looked at her once she turned from him, he could feel her burning pain, but he did not understand why. Of course he knew she would be over it in the morning, she was letting go.

He wondered what she would want to do in the morning, where would she go, he then wondered what he would do, now that he was no longer in a deep sleep, he had to take his place as prince of the west once again. But, she was here for a reason, he knew it, the well did not send her back for nothing, and it did not send her back for Inuyasha, he was sure. Why, she had fought so hard and been sure pure, the well did not send her back to put her in pain, the Kami's would not do that, she did not deserve to suffer anymore.

Sesshomaru closed his eyes, soon she was asleep and her aura clamed, yet he could still smell the tears on her face, for some reason, it bothered him.

I'm not afraid to cry


End file.
